The Things I Couldn't Tell You
by User11111111111111111111111
Summary: Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, shame on me. Hit me three times, I'll do what you want, but please don't do it again. Emil,a broken shell of a man, has his fate tested when his world comes crashing down around him. After realizing the abuse he'd been put though by Mathias, his best friend becomes a blade. One secret slips, as another falls to a dark truth.
1. Prologue

Each echoing footstep drowned within the storm of shouting by the others in the living room. With a long sigh, Emil leaned his head against the wall of the hallway, connected to the living room. "You're a selfish bastard, Dane! Why not leave to get drunk off your ass again?! I bet you have someone else. Why else would you be gone almost every night to 'drink' or 'work'?" "I do love you, Lukas! You're just too cold hearted to see it! I don't want anyone but you! Why don't you believe that?! I'm not a fucking cheater!"

The couple argued back and forth. Their insults got harsher, louder, and more hurtful with each word that was shouted across the living room, but this was a normal occurrence now. Lukas' stubbornness mixed with Mathias' hidden rage to make their arguments overheated and hateful.

A frown drooped on Emil's face as he listened carefully to what was being said. Those words hurt him, though they weren't directed to him. Another sighed slipped past as his eyes closed. Trying his best to clear his mind best, he thought back to when it all went wrong.

Not long after Mathias and Lukas got together, they moved in after Lukas lost his job and home. Stress and personal problems soon lead to the two drifting apart as their true personalities shown. Most everyone saw Lukas as an emotional abuser because of his monotone and mysterious demeanor, but that was far the truth. Just because he was didn't show emotions, didn't mean he didn't have them. He'd been scared out of showing them, and Mathias was part of that fear.

Behind that bright smile of a Dane lay years of pain turned to anger. Any small thing could set him off into a blazing rage, one that clouded all rational thoughts. This caused him to lash these angers out on others. Drinking quickly became his first way of venting. Being out all night at bars and coming home drunk made Lukas worry about his lover's safety and commitment. This led to accusations of cheating, making tensions skyrocket. As of late, more beer bottles were thrown across the room and more holes were punched in the walls, but no one dared yet cross the line to make verbal abuse psychical.

"Just shut up, Lukas! You need me! You can't live without me! You're nothing without me and you know it! You and, that freak of a boy you call, Emil would be on the street if it wasn't for me! Just be happy I still bother to support you!" "Then fucking leave! I'm not asking you to stay! I want you gone!"

The Icelander bit his lip before it could quiver. Tears peeked from the corners of his soft lavender eyes as a strong feeling of anxiety stirred within him. Something that hadn't happened before, at least not like this.

The arguing stopped suddenly when a loud slap echoed though the house. Gathering up his courage, he looked around the corner to see Lukas shaking slightly with his hand over his reddening cheek. His back was to Mathias, who had narrowed eyes and a scowl to the Norwegian. A dark, emotionless gaze moved up to his meet Emil's fearful, tear filled one. Lukas mouthed a 'go and hide' to his little brother, not daring to verbally be heard for fear hit again. He nodded and complied, running off upstairs to hide in the bedroom closet.

Emil sobbed and shook, burying himself within the clothes to help cover the sounds. That was the first time he ever witnessed Lukas being stuck by Mathias like that.

Never in a million years would he have guessed it would have escalated to such an alarming rate. Never would he guessed his life would be changed from loving his protectors, to fearing what one could do to the other.


	2. Chapter One

However, all those days of mere slaps to the face lay in the past, about a year ago to be exact. Unfortunately, it had only gotten worse. It was a good day, if there was no psychical fighting. At this point, it had become so routine and simple that it was ignored. Mathias would often wake up in a hangover or exhausted from the previous night, making him irritable throughout the day. Lukas didn't help his mood either. Accusations of cheating had skyrocketed, but with no proof of anything, these only caused a thick strain on their shaky relationship. In an effort to make more money and move out, Lukas picked up part time jobs. Unfortunately, this meant Emil was home with Mathias all day.

No matter how hard he tried, Emil couldn't escape the fear that one day he'd wake up to see Lukas beaten too badly or that he'd simply left all together. Even in subconscious sleep, he was afraid.

With a sharp gasp, Emil shot up, breathing heavily and shaking badly. "Damn... not again," he muttered, raking his fingers though his bedhead hair. Images of a very broken and bruised Norwegian raced though his mind as vividly as they had in his nightmare. With a shaky hand, he wiped the cold sweat from his brow and tried to remind himself it was a simple dream, a peaking illusion into the pits of his own fears, even if with each passing night it became harder to remember that.

The sound of a small whimpering cry drew his attention away from his thoughts. A frown sagged down his face as the cry got louder. Mathias never cried and Lukas only did when he was horribly upset. Getting out of bed, he walked down the hallway. A pool of worry and anxiety stirred in his stomach as he inched closer to the bathroom. His eyebrows furred when faint crying turned to a soft sob. "Lukas..? Are you alright..?" Emil asked, while knocking gently on the door. After a small sniffle, the door opened to reveal the Norwegian with bloodshot red eyes and tear stained cheeks. "H-Have you been crying...?" "No, I haven't. I'm fine, Emil," he replied after swallowing the lump in his throat. "No Lukas, please don't lie to me. It's obvious that something upset you. What did he do?" Emil's voice was quite and shaky, but full of concern nonetheless. "Like I said, I'm fine..." Lukas and Emil's gazes shifted down and away as a silence filled between them. "Stóri Bróðir... I'm worried about you... I'm scared of what he can do to you," Emil admitted though a small hiccupping cry. Lukas' expression softened once it met with Emil's worriedly wide orbs peeking with tears, and within a few seconds he had the Icelander wrapped around his arms, engulfed in a tight hug. "I will never let him hurt you in any way... I promise... Please don't worry about me, lillebror... I'll be fine in the end," he whispered softly, letting a few final silent tears fall. "Soon we can leave. I just have to save up a bit more money..." Emil nodded, clinging to his brother, feeling safe for the first time in a while now that he was in his arms. "Now, I have to going to work. You stay here with Mathias."

Lukas reluctantly pulled away from the hug and kissed Emil's forehead gently. "I love you. I'll be back soon." With that being said, he grabbed his keys and walked to the front door, only stopping to scowl at the drunken, passed out Dane on the couch. "Mathias, get your drunk and useless ass up to take care of Emil!" He shouted before chucking a pillow at his boyfriend, startling him awake.

Mathias shot up and narrowed his eyes to Lukas. "Sorry for working all last night, but I'm still tired." "Bullshit! You weren't working! You were wit-" Their arguing came to a abrupt stop when Lukas caught gaze of Emil, who had spying on them from the hallway corner. "Forget it... I'm going to work," he muttered and left, slamming the door as loudly as he could before running off, only to breakdown sobbing in the car.

"He's so rude... I don't know why I even let him stay," Mathias muttered with a scoff, before standing up to run his fingers through his messy, blonde nest of hair. Emil watched all this play out silently. 'He was with who?' That question and more raced through his head until they caused a spinning headache. He was pulled from his thoughts as Mathias walking closer. "Mathias, why was Lukas crying this morning?" He asked, while walking up to Mathias, looking him dead in his sleep deprived and drunken eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about. Now get out of my way." Emil huffed softly as he was pushed out of the way, like a useless annoyance. "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking!" His voice raised slightly into a shout, something he quickly regretted it. "What the hell do you want?! I didn't make your stupid brother cry," Mathias shot back, looking for the nearest thing to throw, which happened to be his cellphone. With a hard throw, the phone hit Emil in shin, making him fall to the floor with a small whimpering cry of pain. Though he'd never been directly hit, items were often thrown at him, but this was all a secret. His life had changed to be controlled by fears and threats. It was too risky to get real help.

"You're so damn annoying," Mathias muttered, too hung over to give anything a second thought. Emil rubbed the bruising area as the fear for the Dane built up even further.

Mathias walked away to the bedroom, as if nothing happened. "God, I hate you..." Emil muttered, standing back up and clutching the phone tightly.

After hearing Lukas this morning, a new determination filled the Icelander. Something was obviously being hidden, and he was intent on finding it. Mathias wasn't the smartest person in the world, which made guessing his password was easy. That same feeling of worry and anxiety mixed within him as the phone's home screen lit up. With a nervous hand, he opened the messages and scrolled through them. Not bothering with Lukas' messages, he skimmed though the contact names. A thought then ran across his mind. 'What if... they were true? What if Mathias actually was cheating?' Even if the couple fought often, Lukas was still head over heels for the Dane. A small part of him knew Mathias was the only reason Lukas even stayed in Denmark. He could say it was for Emil's sake or because he needed a place to stay, but in the end it was clear to Emil that his brother was desperate to have the old Mathias back. The one who was a loving and happy boyfriend instead of just who beat them down emotionally again and again. To find something out as devastating as cheating would kill Lukas from the inside out. It would mean all his efforts to make Mathias better would be fruitless. All those beatings would be for nothing.

Emil bit his lip and shook his head. 'No. Just stop it, Emil. Lukas couldn't take something as horrible as cheating... Even if you find something, just keep it to yourself.' His attention was taken from his thoughts when he saw a message from an unsaved number. He opened the messages and immediately regretted it when his stomach dropped with disgust. 'Hey babe~ I hope Lickass isn't being too much of a trouble for you. I can't wait until you move in with me.' 'I love you so much. I can't wait until we move in together soon.' 'I still have those pictures you sent me~ I'm getting hard just looking at them~' 'Remember babe, tonight at midnight we unleashed the beast in bed~' The further he scrolled up, the more explicit, backstabbing, and sickening the messages got. Everything from the heart emojis to the way each word dripped with a lustful greed made the teen nauseous. By now his grasp was uncontrollably shaky, causing the phone dropped. "N-No... Lukas w-was right..."

'I can't tell him. He'd be heartbroken and devastated, but I can't let this go unnoticed...' His mind raced with troublesome thoughts about why. Why wasn't his brother good enough for Mathias to love? Why did his 'family' have to be this broken?

Emil's lip quiver as tears beaded in his eyes. As if a gust of wind swept by, he felt any bit of respect and trust for Mathias drift away. The world around him blurred and spun, until it was visibly shaky. "I hate you, Mathias!" He yelled, crying and sobbing over how broken and unfixable it all was.

Getting up on shaky legs, he ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and collapsing to his knees. "Why Mathias? Is Lukas not good enough for you?! He loves you!" Emil bawled loudly into his hands. All his frustrations and faults put into the tears that streamed down his heated cheeks. This was the moment he realized things would finally fall apart. The small world he'd created with Lukas would now unravel into small, thin threads of memories when life wasn't so hard, when he didn't have to worry about being hit or relationships.

After a few minutes, the tears ceased into dry hoarse whimpered. Emil lay balled up on the bathroom rug, gently brushing his fingertips along the parts now damp with tears. All he felt was empty and betrayed. At this point, all he wanted was something, anything, to help distract him from the emotional pain ripping at his insides. Even physical pain would of been better.

As if by a small hint of luck, the glare from something sharp and shiny caught his eye, luring him to crawl over to investigate what it was.


End file.
